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pressure to create

Today I sat down with the intention of writing about my DIY holidays.  How this time of year my creative juices are flowing and I immerse myself in crafting handmade gifts, goodies, and arrangements.  As I started to write I thought I would feel some pride.  I am in the middle of teaching myself some new things, and making time to sit and create instead of shop, bake, or bustle around, seems like progress in the goal of leading a simpler life, right? But... then I took a deeper look.

Underneath this creativity is pressure.  A pressure to produce.  My own pressure to produce.

When I took a step back and looked at myself and how December goes for me, I realized that I always find myself in a creativity frenzy.  I begin shopping & making lists and then ideas start to percolate.  I think about what I could make instead of buy.  I decide to whip up a little something extra so that the gift is more heartfelt than a gift off of the shelf.

As I tried to type, I felt a little sad.  Sad because I am coming to realize that I only let myself get really creative when I have a purpose.  When there is a birthday coming up, I hunt down a new pattern for a knitting project and start working on a gift.  When December hits, it's the same thing.  It's a huge excuse to make things!

I love creating.  I love thinking of new ideas.  I love thinking of the person as I sit and work.  I love handmade things.  BUT I want to have some creativity in my life that doesn't involve production.  I want to CREATE for it's own sake.  Make a mess.  Leave things unfinished for days, weeks, or months and come back only when the spirit moves me.  I want to start projects with the intention that they are for fun and see what happens.  When I feel satisfied with whatever I have started then, and only then, decide what to do with the piece of work.

This will be a New Year's resolution.  Find some balance around creating with a purpose and creating for process and fun.  And maybe December will always be my month for production, and that will be ok if I have taken time throughout the year to just play.


Do you have an area of your life that needs a little more balance?  
Can you make time during December to do something that you love?

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