pressure to create

Today I sat down with the intention of writing about my DIY holidays. How this time of year my creative juices are flowing and I immerse myself in crafting handmade gifts, goodies, and arrangements. As I started to write I thought I would feel some pride. I am in the middle of teaching myself some new things, and making time to sit and create instead of shop, bake, or bustle around, seems like progress in the goal of leading a simpler life, right? But... then I took a deeper look.

Underneath this creativity is pressure. A pressure to produce. My own pressure to produce.

When I took a step back and looked at myself and how December goes for me, I realized that I always find myself in a creativity frenzy. I begin shopping & making lists and then ideas start to percolate. I think about what I could make instead of buy. I decide to whip up a little something extra so that the gift is more heartfelt than a gift off of the shelf.

As I tried to type, I felt a little sad. Sad because I am coming to realize that I only let myself get really creative when I have a purpose. When there is a birthday coming up, I hunt down a new pattern for a knitting project and start working on a gift. When December hits, it's the same thing. It's a huge excuse to make things!

I love creating. I love thinking of new ideas. I love thinking of the person as I sit and work. I love handmade things. BUT I want to have some creativity in my life that doesn't involve production. I want to CREATE for it's own sake. Make a mess. Leave things unfinished for days, weeks, or months and come back only when the spirit moves me. I want to start projects with the intention that they are for fun and see what happens. When I feel satisfied with whatever I have started then, and only then, decide what to do with the piece of work.

This will be a New Year's resolution. Find some balance around creating with a purpose and creating for process and fun. And maybe December will always be my month for production, and that will be ok if I have taken time throughout the year to just play.

Do you have an area of your life that needs a little more balance?

Can you make time during December to do something that you love?

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