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Finding my tribe



"Having an honest friend-one before whom you can dump all your
heart's pockets and still feel that you are worth something-is a form of wealth
that will buy you nothing but will give you everything.
 -Mark Nepo

Tribe is what Cheryl Richardson calls, "your soulful community" or "your chosen family."  These people are in your inner circle.  People that are completely invested in you.  They are running the race with you.
The people that I would call when I need a laugh, a reality check, or a shoulder to cry on.  The small group that would know my dreams and desires and only want the best for me as I continue on the path toward those things.  They would keep me accountable and honest when I am reverting to old patterns or when fear is driving my decisions.  They would celebrate when I have a breakthrough, no matter how big or small.
It sounds great and it is something that I aspire to create to enhance my life.
These past few years, I haven't let very many people into my inner circle.  I have spent a lot of time being a strong caretaker, mother, teacher, wife.  I gladly take the role of fixer or helper, it's my default.  When someone asks how I am doing, I tend to divert the question or make it all seem ok.  These are strategies that keep things easy, but don't really help me out when my own life gets shaky or uncertain.
Where do I turn?  My husband can't and shouldn't have to shoulder it all.  I am so blessed that he is willing to listen and encourage, but I need a bigger group.  I won't take him for granted.
Last spring, I started working with a life coach because I knew that I hadn't kept my tribe intact.  I needed a connection that didn't require me to caretake or apologize for what I was saying or feeling.  I needed to practice how to let my guard down and be willing to ask for support.  I needed someone to give me permission to be myself and ask for what I need.
This work has reinforced the belief that we all need "fans in our stands."  I have begun to see more clearly how my tribe can inspire, excite, challenge and support me.
I have had to relearn how to ask people for a little bit of time for me and I have had to commit to carve out time to keep those relationships healthy and growing.  I feel so much better knowing that there is an energy surrounding me that allows me to be vulnerable without judgment and share excitement over my joys.  It feels like a relief and I am committed to making sure these relationships stay fresh and vibrant.

Who do you let into your inner circle?  
Have you made the time to keep those relationships strong and healthy?  


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