Skip to main content

Letting go & holding on- how you can do both at the same time


Everyday I am thinking about letting go.  My days are spent in sessions with clients, or reading about decluttering tips, or writing blog posts, all in an effort to support clients as they let go of clutter and unwanted habits.  Letting go is something that I have made into my life's work, but never is it more "in my face" than when I sit with my grandma at the nursing home.  My grandma has Dementia/Alzheimers.  I don't even know what or which or why or how, but I do know that it seems we have lost her to the disease and letting go & holding on are happening all at once.
As I sit and watch her sleep, I can stroke her hand and feel the many memories of playing Go to the Dump or Crazy Eight on my days off of Kindergarten, getting a home perm in her kitchen in elementary school, and painting my nails at her kitchen nook in H.S.  I remember learning how to snap a dish towel with my cousins as we cleaned up from holiday gatherings & singing and dancing on the linoleum floor with my aunts.
All the while, grandma was there.  Opening her door for family to meet up, sleep over, laugh together, and make memories.
As I sit with her now, I have to let go of us ever rehashing those good times.  She won't be able to ask about my growing kids & their activities; something she always prided herself on keeping up on.  She won't play cards or make her famous Monster Cookies, but what she can do, and what I keep looking for with each visit, is a little smirk or a little noise that only she makes.  Gestures that our family has come to know so well.  It is a way to see the woman inside.  The mother, grandmother, great-grandmother who loved & gave, who worked & believed.  A woman who shaped who I am today.
I am letting go of any expectations that I hold for my time left with grandma.  I am holding on to the good times & letting them flow over me as we sit and wait.

Comments

  1. UnknownMay 10, 2016 at 9:47 AM

    Beautifully said!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. KateMay 10, 2016 at 11:51 AM

      Thanks. For me writing makes the hard stuff a little easier to understand.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Art of Organizing

"Be daring enough to tell us-your customers, your fans, your people-about your ambition  because we'll be the ones to help you fulfill them."  -  Danielle LaPorte It is a new year.  A time of new beginnings.  A time to clear out the old and make way for the new and I am ready for it.  I have been inching forward in my new business and now it's time to push the go button and let things begin.  I am ready to see where this leads. Just the other day, I was listening to Oprah interview Sue Monk Kidd, the best-selling author of "The Secret Life of Bees."  She was talking about her transition from being a nurse to becoming a writer; something that she had wanted to be since she was a child.  She was speaking about listening to what is calling from the bottom of your heart.  Hear it and then proclaim it. Last year I proclaimed that I was done teaching in the classroom or in a traditional "teacher" way.  I know there is somet...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Holiday Shuffle

This time of year, I always find myself struggling to keep the holiday spirit as I contemplate my lists of things to do in order to get to every event on our calendar with all of the required food, gifts, smiles, and energy.  It is the same every year.  Every year I say to myself, "how could I do this differently next year?" and every year I find myself in the same place.  The holiday bustle is starting earlier and earlier and it seems like that only creates more pressure for performance. In my house I am the bah, humbug of the family.  I am not ready or willing to start thinking Christmas until Thanksgiving is on the books.  I usually don't listen to Christmas music until that day, and I don't get the tree or the house decorated until after that day.  I'm the scrooge who lives with a husband and kids that would (and do) listen to Christmas music year-round!  I feel guilty for being this way, but I also try to honor each day, and I guess for me ...
Post a Comment
Read more