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Up until now...





Last wkend, I ran my first 5K.  It came after a month and a half of training and a lot of days when I thought "how will I ever be able to keep going?"
I have never considered myself to be a runner.  In fact, "I'm not a runner" would be one of those statements that I have used to define myself for a long time.
So, when I pulled up to the registration table and received my t-shirt and number, I had to think again.  Could I change my statement now?  Am I a runner?  Is this something that I will continue?  Do I belong in this crowd and is running one of my things?
I set this 5K goal for myself a while ago (even as I told myself I wasn't a runner).  Maybe it was a way to push my body and see how it would perform.  Maybe it was just another way to fill time.  Maybe I envied the group who could start their Sat. morning by running the local 5K.  Whatever led me to do it, it was another goal and I am pretty good at pushing myself when I set a goal.
Now that I finished the challenge, I have to really sit back and think about running.  Up until now, I wouldn't consider myself a runner.  Now, I get to decide if running is something that brings me joy.

"Up until now" is a new idea for me.
It's a new way to check myself when I automatically go to one of those defining statements that really don't fit anymore.

Up until now, I have always followed through on my commitments.  Now, I am finding that it's ok to back out when your life changes or you realize you have set other priorities.
Here are some more...
Up until now, I wasn't good at making phone calls.
Up until now, I didn't have the confidence I needed to sell my skills and abilities.
Up until now, I haven't been able to ask for what I need without guilt.

Some of these statements will help launch the new goals that I set for myself.  Thinking this way might lead me toward the skills that I would like to acquire and a redefinition of who I am.

Up until now, I was afraid I would feel like an imposter if I stood at the starting line with "runners."  Now I know that if I choose to keep running, I will fit in just fine.

Think about one of the statements you use to define yourself 
and decide whether it is ready for a shift.  Maybe you can switch to "Up until now, I ... "

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